Tuesday, July 29, 2008

I'm No Speed Reader. I'm Gonna Be a Magician!


I purchased the latest version of Elements Photoshop a few weeks ago and could barely wait to get it installed. Oh, the magic I was going to create.
Installation was completed without any problems, but operating the program proved to be a bit more difficult. Within minutes I felt completely overwhelmed and under qualified. I quickly reached for it’s box, searching for the owner’s manual. There was none. What?! No owner’s manual? That’s like giving a kid a new board game without instructions. “Here Dick and Jane – here’s the cards, the pawns, the wheel, and the dice – go play! Oh, and don’t forget to set up the special spinning Ferris wheel in the center – I think it’s an integral part of the game, but who knows?!”

I find myself staring at the screen, selecting options and nothing happening. How do I create magic without knowing the secret tricks? I come to the painful conclusion that this was going to take lots of practice – SHOOT! I had been here before.

About ten years ago, I watched this infomercial on Speed Reading. Wow! This man said you could read a book in like four minutes. Well, I was a big reader at the time – mostly educational, in the subjects of nutrition, health, alternative medicine, etc. To think that I could sit down one night and read book after book in a few short hours was mind blowing. It seemed too good to be true, but if it was true, I would be brilliant! This man said that we are capable of reading left to right AND right to left, meaning backwards and forwards. We can even read up to four lines at one time! Amazing! I was sold. A mere $150 later and I was the proud owner of the Magic Speed Reading kit. I read everything thoroughly and then excitedly pulled out a book to read. Things did not go as I planned. Shocker! Call me stupid if you must, but I thought once I read through the magic material I would be an official speed reader. I was wrong. Apparently, these techniques take lots and lots of practice. I actually practiced for awhile and I sort of got the hang of it, but I felt like it was straining my brain, which left less energy to comprehend the books I wanted to read. So, that fancy class is currently sitting on my shelf, next to all the books I’ve read – one line at a time. Someday, when I’m eighty and I got the time, I’m gonna be a Speed Reader! For now, I’m going to learn how to do magic – photo magic that is!

2 comments:

Claire said...

I think I have the same stack of books!!!

kc said...

I remember seeing that, and wondering if anyone could ever really read that fast. I'll just have to stick with reading my books one word and one line at a time. :)